Volume.2
Free and with its own will

It's a sketch for a picture with a charcoal. As I was thinking what should I draw, I hold in my breath, when the dawn came, a face moved alone in the clubroom. That face seemed to get reflected in mirror, at that moment I thought "Amazing, how my face is free and with its own will!" (laughs) Before I drew it, I was troubled, but once I started drawing it, I was done after 2 mins. 

so, today was really good day... it wasn't supposed to be really good day, but it somehow ended as one...

i had my japanese teacher to check the essay i wrote and I will be sending for a competition (don't worry, i'm not that confident to think i would actually win, but it's a good experience ;) ) and he actually praised it and said it's interesting and somehow it made me happy that i can actually write in japanese and it actually makes sense and all... and because i mentioned Kim in that essay we kinda started to talk about SMAP and it kinda showed up that he actually knows them pretty well (and that he's born at the same town as Kuda Shizuka and that he's actually same age as Kim, which made me go all "OMFG, for real?" i would guess him 32 max...LOL)
and i was suddenly in extremely good mood... well, the last class was a torture but it's always torture so whatever

anyway, i found this little bb and wanted to share it with you... so here you are... enjoy... 

Shingo no Itazura 

 Shingo's prank



Preface

Aloha, hello, and to person who's reading this for the first time, nice to meet you. You did well buying this without being scared by the cover picture.
This book is a piece where I thought about completely everything, titul, cover, logo, contents because the important people said "Shingo-kun, do whatever you want." Because it expresses the Shingo World pretty maniacly I believe that just by looking through it the people got divided on people who like it and hate it.
But read it without missing a single picture and without skipping a single word, please read it from the beginning to the end. I'm sure you will understand what I think say and do usually.
If you start to like this book after you ended reading it, it would be great if it became one of your treasures, that's what I wish for.





Volume `1.

A big fashion devil king

In the world, a fashion craze is born and disappears one after another but ignoring it all "I want everyone to have more free posture" that's the message iI put into this picture when drawing it. It's pretty good fashion devil king.

So, yesterday I went to this concert... It was a concert of a group I've never heard about before... Well, I did listen to two songs before going to their concert... It's a group from a genre called visual kei rock... as if I would know what that means... :D Anyway, my friend kind of talked me into it, saying that the concerts are great and with a bit of uncertain feeling I agreed... 
And went with her to the concert of a group called Plunklock
 

And I fell in love... 
So, there's four of them.. 
Vocalist Halo
   

On guitar Kazuki
  

On base Haruka
  

On drums Pinky
 

So, before going I decided to get to know a bit about them... And as I watched their video messages for European's fans, I kinda fell for Pinky (don't worry Kim, you will always be the "only one in the world" for me :P)... Why?
Because he makes faces like this:
  

And this:



Anyway, we managed to get into third or so line (long live the sharp elbows and boots called Steel :P) which showed to be awesome, cause... cause... they were pretty touchy... Well, all of them expect for Haruka who seems to be a shy one and Pinky who was sitting behind his drums (which should be on the outer part of stage, cause that way we could be touching him too) and making his faces whole the time... 
The songs were great, the performance was great, we were touching (them and their instruments - and yes, I mean musical instruments) and screaming... I was screaming (and not talking whole day today :D)... and catching members falling from the stage (and ruffling their awesomely styled hair\hehe *points at herself*) and at the end Pinky actually took the uchiwa I made (with his name on it) *a happy fangirl* 

And after the concert ended, there was a fan session with a band... And you could get them to sign you the things you bought there... So, what do you think? I have quite a nice collection:





Because you just can't not to buy a t-shirt ;)



The conversation (in Japanese if not stated otherwise): 
me: It was awesome
me: Can you sign it for me?
Halo: Both?
me: Ehm... If possible *puppy eyes*
Halo signing... 
me: It was awesome
Halo (in English): We will be back
me (in my thoughts): Eh? Terminator?
me: Thank you so very much


(I would kill for his hair)

Jumped conversation with Kazuki: 
Actually it was simple: 
me: Thank you so very much



me: Could you sign this for me?
Pinky: You have nice glasses.
me: Thank you 
(actually meant to say "Yours are better" an example what happens when your head goes copletely blank [so much to my "what would I say if I ever met Kim" hah hah... It would be "OMG" and my brain would die...)
Pinky (imitating me): Thank you
me: Ehm, thank you 
Pinky: Thank you 
LOL\brain dead and dangerously red



me: The concert was the best
Haruka: Thank you, we will come next year again.
me: You have to!
Haruka: Here you go
me: Thank you so very much \runs away before she embarrasses herself any more



So, so much to my Japanese... No, I really don't feel like an idiot :D



But the very very very very best thing I got:

me: Could you please sign this as well?
Pinky: What can I do with you~
me: Thank you so very much
Pinky: Here. I wrote my name in Japanese and I wrote Czech there as well
me: Thank you so very much





Yes, it's a half of drumstick!!!!!!! 

And my friend actually stole a pick from Kazuki when he was shaking our hands... She went like "Actually, he probably didn't want to give it to me... But I felt it when he was shaking my hand and his hands were slippery because of the sweat, so it was quite easy to take it even though he was holding on it pretty strongly" LOL... 

And another conversation:
Pinky (in English): I am Johnny Depp
my friend (in Japanese): It's a lie!
Pinky: (in Japanese): I'm sorry. You've seen through it?

ROFL... 

So, that was my very first experience with Japanese concert... I will live for another month or so from it until the next con :D We really need more Japanese bands in Europe... 

...this is.
The reason of it being wonderful is a tiny (okay, not so tiny) package sent from Honolulu by amazing amazing, always amazing g_pumpkin. And that tiny package contains....
dun
dun
dun
dun-du-dun
dun-du-dun

An awesomeness called KAI-HO-KU... So, it happened like this... I bought Kai-ho-ku 2 and I started to translate Kai-ho-ku 2 (which I'm pretty late with, I know, I'm sorry) and I was complaining that once I'm done with translating I will have to buy the first one too (it's not like I will be done with it any soon, just to warn you...) and then amazing amazing always amazing g_pumpkin said: "I  was shopping and found this by coincidence, I just had to buy it though I already have one. Do you want ti?" It's a world I can't imagine... "Finding this coincidently" I mean...(what a heaven, huh?) So, here I am holding first Kai-ho-ku 
*I wanted to add a picture, but the battery in my camera is out*

If it wasn't for this little package, this day would suck... Pretty much as yesterday and last week's Thursday... Because a funny thing happened on Thursday... Maybe it's because I do nothing but carry the SMAP bags I made for myself (and stuff them with heavy things) I got a cramp in my right shoulder. And by cramp I mean a pain I've never tasted in my life (and I count the broken nose pain into it as well...), so I skipped one dance lesson and went home, had my mom to massage it, took some magical pink pills (the best thing Canada gave to the world - a miracle called Apo-Ibuprofen [I know, too influenced by advertising]) and went to sleep. I woke up next day in all sunny mood, switched to backpack and went to rehearsals of our stageplay (because everything was pink and shiny and sunny and half of our members went down with illness, so I could hardly be absent) and it was all okay... more or less, cause I had a stock of little pink pills... I should have rest probably, right? I know it, right? Did I do it? Nope... Saturday's stage performance went well... Big success.. (more or less, don't have me start about how many mistakes I made... The viewers were fooled and that's what counts) Of course it was... We were in the theater from 1 pm... And the stageplay begun at 7:30 pm... And did my shoulder get some rest? Of course.... it didn't. And then the funny yesterday came... And I woke up, it was all okay until the moment I went to see off my friend to the train station (and before that we had went for shopping) and the nice and funny fucking cramp showed up again... Why? Because I carried my small Kim bag (completely empty to defend myself) with me (and didn't put in my stock of small pink magical pills)... So I thought: "Okay, I would carry backpacks instead... I just wouldn't be able to carry normal bags for a while...No big deal."
Yes, surely no big deal, except for one thing... I was carrying a fucking ugly backpack (yes, you guessed right, I hate backpacks) with me today all day and the fucking pain is here again...So, what should I do? (and no, I don't want to hear words like "doctor" "hospital" and "check-up") The best thing to do is to forget about the pain... But the funny thing about the pain is that it doesn't let you forget!!! So, I think I will really need to write a letter of gratitude to Canada... 

But this is supposed to be post of thankfulness (yep, the illness swallows people in...), so thanks thanks thanks... to everyone who is patiently waiting for another translation, to amazing amazing always amazingg_pumpkin who sent this awesome present...

And lastly a question to all of you who actually were able to read it this far: Do you want me to translate the first book first or should I continue the second and return to the first later? (and i don't take "do as you wish" as an answer)

 and also, I'm looking for some kind soul (if possibly a native speaker) who would be so kind sweet amazing and all those superlatives you can think of and make corrections of those translation (with grammatical and stylistics notes) cause I really want to polish my English (or just make it more sense-making :P) Pretty please? 

I was neglecting this too long... I'm really sorry about it... Thanks for waiting (if you waited)

VOL. 3 Nervous Feeling
December 2003

    The me who thought "If I do my best, I can make it somehow" before the recording of Pride started feels really stupid thinking back, I couldn't make it. Until now I experienced a lot of characters, but it might be the first time I had this hard fight. Completely unforeseen.  Right now, my feet are full of blisters. Just walking hurts like hell. But once I stand in rink, the pain is blown away in a moment. My body hurts but there's no problem mentally. It's because the feeling of local Nagano people, the fans of course and the teammates standing on the same rink get really conveyed. When I hear that encouragement, no matter how free we're to use CGs (computer graphics), the feeling of exaltation not to do it is overflowing whole hall. After all the energy of people that puts you on fire is completely different.

    This time I have a help from people, who actually do ice-hockey, and their existence is quite huge.All those seniors really accepted us - complete newcomers pleasantly.Even though the rink is a precious place to them who devoted themselves to it since they were kids. Each of them, without a slight feeling of awkwardness, makes an atmosphere of understanding. It's amazing to go this far suddenly. At the moment everyone stepped on the ice, they all got so vivid as if they were different persons. I can't be scared or anything either. I want to be one who leaps on ice with my all.

    It seems that in the real ice-hockey game the opponent changes in 40 secs, if longer in 1 minute. Apparently that's a limit. We can't have that much time in drama recording but if you don't hold the nervousness you will definitely get hurt. I hurt my shoulder during the very first training, so I really think we have to be careful. After two hours pass, it becomes really bad... But it's true that at the same time it feels so good as if I got high. Getting a pass with good timing, and then the moment when I score a goal is irresistible. The speed, the impact and the fear mixed there as an essence. Of course I feel indispensable nervousness for sports. Isn't it what's needed besides physical strength and technique? Personally I love it. I feel like I can put in more strength than I alone have, when I'm nervous. It's almost okay to say that the nervous feeling is my favorite food.

    I think I'm really thankful that a team sport - ice hockey has become a pivot of this drama. Because during it [ice-hockey] even if you don't put them in words, you can convey your feelings. Just with hitting the ice with a stick or shooting a pass you can communicate. Even if you don't call each other's name, it kind of come into existence.

    Of course I feel a special nervousness toward people I co-star wit for the first time. Be it Sakaguchi Kenji-san, Ichikawa Somegoro-kun or Sato Ryuta-san. All of them are really great guys and are working with utmost effort. All of us dispose a different hatred to lose. And to tell the truth, I'm not sure if it's okay to say it here or not, but I was really underestimating Takeuchi Yuuko. During the rehearsals, when we went "Okay, let's get to it?" and faced each other, at the moment she got into the story I apologized in my mind "I'm sorry". She's completely different when we have a normal chit chat and when we face each other with a responsibility on our shoulders. I think she's really powerful and charming.

    Probably what I consider as a "true friend" is not simply being close. Even when you normally talk friendly, when you feel the same nervousness you're tied strongly for the first time. After you experienced an on-boundary moment together, as if you're being tested, it will become an improved relationship.
    And once again I think. I'm really lucky to be surrounded by people who taste this nervousness with me.

"It's an important energy for me.
And unexpectedly "favorite food".
I want to be myself who can always laugh and say that..."

Not good... I'm actually becoming addicted... 

VOL. 2 Meaning of kindness
September, 2003

    There are women who describe their ideal partner as "a person who loves me most in the world". Somehow it seems they do nothing but demand something from others and it makes me think "You jerk, stop kidding me, that comment?", but maybe it's actually their honest feeling. This is something everyone actually think, isn't it? Men as we though they don't say it out aloud. It's hard when we can't convey it and everyone wants to be loved by their beloved...

    When you fall in love with someone, it all begins with thinking "I want to somehow convey this feeling. What should I do?" and acting according that. That feeling of thinking about others preciously might be connected to kindness. Well, people are all different. The way they express it depends on their characters and it also depends on person who's accepting it, a thing that comes to existence for the first time. With a shape of relationships, there are types of kindness. If the relationship is strong, strictness can also become the kindness.
    That's why I think there's no absolutely kind person. We're not gods. And isn't it weird to describe someone's character or personality as "That person is kind". It feels better to say about such person that he's "useful". Easy and comfortable person for you. It's close to English "easy" I guess. Well, it's not absolute, but I don't like word "easy" itself and it feels like it's tied to someone's interests. And I think it's the same for men and women.
    But in women's case, they bare child. And because of that there exists an amazing instinctual kindness. That's a part that I as a man will never feel and there's nothing else for me but to respect them for it. 
    And if there's anything for men in exchange for it, it would be to protect its existence. But before that I want to be financially secure. But I don't want to count every cent, you know.
   
    Lately, there's something that makes me go "Hm?". That's an expression "I will ~do something~ for you". When you watch movie or drama, it's something that shows up pretty normally. For example, isn't it different if you say "Wait a sec. I will get it for you" and "Wait a sec. I will get it."? I know it's not good to say someone "Don't you think you don't have to put it that way?" For example I absolutely hate "I cleaned it up for you". You can see that even without them saying so. And when you answer "I'm sorry", the whole conversation will turn out to be "No, no, don't mention it." and you feel as if you've done something wrong. Though simple "Thanks" would be okay....

    If possible I think I want to be like "Because I want ~to do something~, I do it." And I want people around me to be like that as well. Cause I want to be spontaneous. Now that I think about it I like surprising someone more than having someone to thank me. I want "Eh?!" reaction and that's why I hate giving presents on birthdays and Christmas. I don't like to look adequate thing "because it's anniversary". It's obligatory and it's not cheerful. More than that I'm more happy when I can say "When I was shopping I found this thing. It would look good on you. Here." and hand it to the person.
    There could be a manual for interacting with people, but it's not like all situations would go according it, right? It means if you feel kindness toward someone, you don't need "trigger" or "manual" for it. That's what I think...

"If kindness and desire would coexist inside of me, that would make me super high.
Don't you think so?
Personally, I think it's pretty "cool"..." 

 
 
  

I'm sorry, there's one kanji in his hand-writing I can't decrypt no matter how much I try, so the translation might not be as accurate as I would wish... I love his hand-writing cause it looks so beautiful but I also hate it cause it's so hard to read... He could go easy on us... But he "hates the word "easy" itself", so... *sigh*

Okay, I bought it... I couldn't resist, okay?
Now, I wish I would buy a scanner with it, cause this way it lacks something, but it can't be helped... I invested my last money into that damn book... 
 
Thanks to amazing g_pumpkin I have scans for this ;)

VOL.1 Movie Theater

November, 2003

    My first serious date was in a movie theater. When I was a freshman in high school, in Shibuya Toukyuu that doesn't exist anymore. We met in front of café lined up with other shops, and I'm pretty sure we watched "Gremlins". I was so aware of the fact that the girl was sitting right next to me whole the time. 
    Including the sense of distance and everything else, after all the date should be in theater.

    After that I was going to theater in Honmoku quite a lot, driving a car there. Parking the car in a parking lot and just watching Screen 1, Screen 2, Screen 3... watching theaters lined up made me all excited. When I enter it, I would buy ice-cream monaka (a dessert filled with jam from red-bean paste) I would never eat normally... 
    Once the movie was over, I would go around cafés and second-hand shops that are open until late at night and then return home. It was a course that felt good.
    I've never gone to theater and though "It was boring". But once, when I was going home from surfing, it was in Shibuya or somewhere, I fell asleep during first 5 minutes of "Jurassic Park". I even started to sweat in sleep, and when I opened my eyes the ending subtitles were running on screen. When I asked my friend with a bit lost feeling "Dinosaurs showed up?", he said "Showed. But you can really sleep well." It's true they were screaming and stomping all the time. Not so long ago, I watched it on DVD and I thought "So this is what's the story about."...

    Lately, I watch movies mostly on DVD. When you watch the movie at home, you can sit on comfortable sofa, prepare drink you feel like drinking and when you go to toilet you can pause the movie, it feels good in its way as well. And mothers with children can to enjoy it as well, while taking care of their children or doing some house works.
    But it feels good to put your own body fighting arena of movies - theater. Because after all, space of theater is kind of special place, isn't it?
    When I was a kid, going to theater felt like riding on attraction in amusement park, it was the same feeling as having fun on an attraction. I also thought that a mass psychology of all people in that place putting their hopes on same thing is interesting.

    The Shanghai filming of 2046, it's difficult to say how it was, but if you put it simply it was "okay". Before I entered the filming site, unluckily I hurt my right shoulder and I wasn't able to think I was wanted there... Without clashing into anything I cried from vexation after a long time. You will understand it when the movie will be released, but when director Wong Kar-wai watched me when I was taping my shoulder, he went "It's nice. Let's make a scene where you're hurt." It's unimaginable it would happen in Japan, right?
    I thought "Is it really okay?" And like that a story started to origin in director's mind. So, you're put in such situation and once you hear voice saying "Action!", starting with director, cameramans, lighting engineers, sound engineers... everyone's feeling become a strong power and you can easily concentrate.
    Tony (Leung) came at the day when we weren't filming his scenes, worried about me asking "Takuya, how are you doing?" and checked on me. Because he knew me from 4 years ago when the filming started. And when I showed up with energetic "Yay!" he was disappointed saying "What! You seem doing well." Because 4 years ago, everyone opened their feeling to me, but back then there wasn't me who would be able to return those feelings. Now, I don't really know how I changed, but I'm able to understand "This is how it will turn out, I see...". When I finally started to think that way, the filming ended... I was allowed to obtain an amazing experience. I was able to sort things inside myself. Because there was no script, I don't know what will be other scenes like. And kind of vaguely know who will appear in it. But right now, I'm really looking forward to see what kind of movie it has become. 

"I want to connect my feelings with everyone in theater more and more... 
Because I'm preparing present called "movie" as well.
But at that time be as frank as you can... Counting on you!"
 
 
 


Also, my reading skills are way too far from being perfect, so if you notice any mistake please let me know, so I can improve as well... :) 

And lastly a warning: I'm a creature that moves according a mood... My mood... Which means I can't promise this Kai-ho-ku project will continue... It's always better not expect anything from me, that way, you can't get disappointed ;) 

And lastly lastly: Enjoy :)

So, my first time attending the meme thing... And at the best possible time, right? Cause there's no better excuse for not studying for exam than this :D

So, the rules (if you can call it rules :P)

1. Reply to this post with "UNICORNS", and I will pick five of your icons (and put them in the comment as soon as I learn how the hell I should do it).
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon glee.

So, hereticpop-bb chose these for me (because as hereticpop-bb said "my icon space is a Kimu heaven" or hell, so any Kim haters, don't read from now on, cause you're entering extreme fangirling zone :P): 



I wonder why it is that every Sanma Kim combination produces faces like this? Why? Could there be anything better? And cuter? And~~~ I dunno... I will probably never stop being amazed by the faces this man can produce... Cause he can be so hot... and so dorky and cute and... I dunno... whatever you think off? I'm not big fan of animal prints, but I'm not big fan of shining things and pink things and massive rings on men... Yet whatever he wears is forgiven... 



I don't even know who deserved this awesome pose, but I would jump into the screen and groove with him any time... :D I wish I had no bones in my body so I could do things he can with his... And did I ever mention how much I love Bistro SMAP uniforms? I guess I haven't... All of them are so cute... Just cute... And I wish they would do the alternations they used to do in past... The French-styled one (with the kind of beret-like looking cook cup and the Greek-like spirals on the collar was awesome...)



Cuteness overdose... The hair... This is exactly how I love his hair (or in short stadium).. The expression, the lips... This face just makes THIS to me... (as much as any other face of his)... I'm kinda lost about what to write about this, cause the pic says it all for itself



Better than still Kim is moving Kim, right? Kono Toki Kitto Yume ja Nai is definitely my most favorite PV ever... Well, I love the song (it's definitely in my Top Ten [And don't make me count how many songs is in my Top Ten]), but I just Love.The.PV... It's so beautiful... And there's so many beautiful scenes... And it's so motivating (which can be in negative too, but screw it, it just matches the song)... and Kim has a hair porn phase again... *sigh* (Now, I will finish the post and instead of studying again I will go watch the PV like three/four/hundred times...)



And this is the cutest embarrassed laugh I've seen... Whenever I see this icon it reminds me of how cute he was when he went "It's so embarrassing" after trying to speak in Chinese and I can't hear him laughing which is like second best thing about him (along with nose)... I just love how he doesn't act like a diva in front of cameras... Please, more of these sweet moments...


So, that's it, now, I'm going to go to bother someone to explain me how I can put pictures into comment... 
Back to studying (looking for Kono Toki Kitto Yume Ja Nai PV in her external disc)

(And now, I will start to use them... Maybe... If I don't forget again)